This was just a story I wrote really quickly for a friend a while ago. It doesn't really have any meaning behind it, besides the fact that I was determined to put the phrase "I can't a fat lady is in the way!" in it. For no good reason really. That's what got this story going. What a horrible thing. Oh, and my mom read it and asked if I was on drugs. But she was just teasin' me!
So, here you go I guess. Just remember that it's not serious. And was written late at night in a really short amount of time. And that it has no purpose. Okay now. You can get started. But don't feel obligated or anything just because you've read through this overly long introduction. Alrighty. Read away if you want.
STORY
One day little Sonny St.John was frolicking through a meadow full of tall wild flowers and spinning tea cups of all different colors and designs, when she noticed something shimmer through the blue sky. It was triangular and small. At least it looked small to Sonny, who was probably at least 2,000 feet under the object in the sky, which of course would make it appear to be smaller than it actually is. Now, Sonny was a girl full of curiosity and she had a desperate need to explore. So naturally, Sonny raced off in search of this mysterious shinning object. Figuring she would not be able to see where the object had landed in the meadow, she climbed to the top of the tall mountain that guarded Sonny's little meadow paradise. Looking out over the valley Sonny spoted a mere sparkle glistening in the far end of the meadow. She jumped in her magical flying shoe and headed toward the sparkle.
Everything started out wonderfully. The magical flying shoe had no malfunctions. The laces were tied, double knotted for that matter; the tounge was up as intended; and Hilda, the little old lady that lived in the shoe and raised twelve mutant chicken-rabbit babies all on her own, kept her children calm during the flight as she was pioleting the shoe. So yes, everything was going according to plan. Sonny just kept thinking about the shining object that flew through the sky and crashed at the end of the meadow.
"What in the world could it be?", Sonny thought to herself. "Maybe it's a wing from a small plane. Maybe it is a space ship that crash landed on earth and needs my help to be put back together again. Maybe it is a tiny, triangular, metal planet that has tiny little civilizations with tiny little robot people and tiny little robot monsters that attack the robot people and kill their robot cats. Maybe the tiny little robot people want me to invent a tiny little invention that will scare a way the tiny little monsters and keep them from attacking their families and their tiny little robot cats." Yes...", said Sonny,"It's the tiny little robot people and they need my help." This new assumption made Sonny even more determined to reach the fallen object. But all of a sudden, out of nowhere, a huge gang of rapping grandmothers and mexican hat dancers came flying up to Sonny, who was standing up in her magical flying shoe. They were riding on the backs of sky tadpoles. The grandmothers were throwing out gang signs at poor Sonny and the mexican hat dancers were dancing and singing on their sky tadpoles, which really freaked Sonny out because mexican hat dancers just so happened to be her greatest fear. But don't say Sonny is a racist, cause she's not, and she'll tell you she's not. No, Sonny loves mexicans. Her favorite kind of food is mexican food, she's just afraid of mexican hat dancers. It's the dancing part that scares her, not the mexican part. So anyways, Sonny couldn't for the life of her figure out why these rapping grandmothers and mexican hat dancers were flying so close to her or why the grandmothers were dissing her with hateful rhymes. But when the evil leader of the group, a giant, middle aged, angry woman who looked like she ate a few too many ice cream cones immerged from the inner circle of the gang and revealed that they too were on a quest to retrive the mysterious object, Sonny raced away in her shoe hoping to reach the object first. But the mexican hat dancers and gangsta g-mas closed in on her, and she could not see the sky in front of her. At that moment Hilda showed her first sign of fright. She shouted " Sonny, hurry take the winged surfboard i have in the back of the shoe and reach the shining thing before they do!" " Okay, but wait! I can't! A fat lady is in the way! I can't possibly reach it, she right in front of me and i have no room to squeeze by her to grab it!", replied Sonny. Just as all hope seemed lost, the laces to the magical shoe untied themselves and grabbed the evil pack leader by her arms and feet. They lifted her into the air and threw her off the shoe. Sonny could now reach the winged surfboard. She hopped on the surf board and flew as fast a she could over to the object that she so longed for.
As Sonny passed by the rapping grandmas and the scary mexican hat dancers, she felt relieved to know that she would be the one to claim the tiny little triangular planet that neede her help so desperately. Sonny finally spotted the tiny metallic planet in the distance. She was absolutely giddy. But then, some how, as she got closer the planet started to look different. It started to change shape. Once Sonny reached the object she discovered that it was not a tiny little planet with tiny little robot civilizations that were being attacked by tiny little robot creatures that wanted to hurt their cats. The wonderfull planet that Sonny was expecting to find turned out to be a giant, metallic statue of the young Paul Newman. No one in all of the magical meadow ever found the truth behind the random Paul Numan statue that crashed to Earth from the big blue sky above. And Sonny was amazed.
